| COPY WRITE 2005 Rigor Phallus ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.... FUCKERS |
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| Thou Art In Heaven... Born in a harbor in the Autumn of 2004, You can say this baby demons life was short lived. Poor little Rigor died at the tender age of 2 on September 23rd of 2006. The festering cock monster will be greatly missed by many friends, family, enemies, critiques, haters, and whores alike. Baby Rigor is survived by his parents, Machetti- guitars, Mark Page- upright bass, JeffSatan- vocals, Puke Skinbeater- drums, Mickey Scabs- upright bass, and last, but definately not the least, King Browncrown- upright bass! Little Rigor Phallus was recently awarded before his untimely death for worst named baby (band) of the year by The Onion. Also recieved piss poor reviews on Psychobilly Online, as well as positive ones in Louder, Faster, Harder! Often confused as being punk, confused as rockabilly by the punks, not many people quite got the sick joke that came to town on the short bus. When Rigor Phallus got off the bus to start his day and walked into the auditorium to speak people were like "What The Fuck??? Get this fuckin thing some drinks, and make mine a double!" Some of the kids bit, some of the people spit, and according to Machetti and King, alot of the chicks swallowed! Many avenues were explored, many hearts were broken, a few heads split open, and that fuckin shit fuck bar in Kenosha was destroyed! hahaha fuck you scummy Kenosha punks! Eat my dick, faggots!!! We came to your town, fucked up your shit, drank your beer and pissed on your streets! And you pussy mutherfuckers STILL didn't want to fight us! Yeah, keep starin at the ground fuckstains! All fuckin around aside, I swear to god, Rigor Phallus was the luckiest, shortlived band alive! For a band who only rehearsed MAYBE for a year went through 2 bassplayers before adopting our beautiful baby boy "King", we were so fuckin lucky. To come from playing one party to then immediately opening for bands sutch as Calavera, The Dead Cats, Koffin Kats, G-String, Batmobile, Cosmic Voodoo, Barnyard Ballers, The Chop Tops, Nekromantix, plus tons of other amazing fucking bands... Man, and we got to tour three times! I can honestly say that I had the time of my life with this crazy shit and the best of brothers a guy could ever want or ask for. Sure we fuckin fought sometimes, but isn't that what brothers do? Like a sinking ship, we all went down together... and I had a blast! Hell Be Thy Name! |
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